amour d'enfance

i miss you.

2009-12-31T01:12:00.003+08:00

i am forever wrong and you are always there to correct me. you were trying to make me a better person but i didn't know how to appreciate you. i end up doing stupid and useless thing and making things worse. maybe this ending is a really good start. life without you is hell but i've gotta learn how to let you go.

you were never mine. and you should live a life with people you love most and stop worrying about me. i should be fine. i may fall but i'll learn how to get up on my own. i'm glad i know you.

i'll miss you. and yes i still love you.

it's gonna be one lonely new year.

all i ever wanted

2009-12-21T10:14:00.001+08:00

weh..these day i seriously to the max damn lazy to blog weh. anyways, i went to cf on 19th and 20th. then today 21st my dad's bday. then 24th is pmr results day which is also my death day. then 25th is christmas.

and guess what! i still haven't buy my books yet and i belum clean and recycle all the old books. die lor. i so damn lazy already.==

the pain.

2009-12-18T23:26:00.003+08:00

nobody will understand the pain i feel. it hurts so fucking much but i can't say anything bout it cause people will think i'm emo and shit stuff. if i'm emo, i would cut myself and let myself bleed to death but i didn't.

brina said emo stuff why dun you fucking call her emo. just because i used to call myself emochild?== thanks FOR UNDERSTANDING. THANKS FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE. THANKS FOR NEVER LEAVING ME ALONE.

thanks for all the fucking sweet things that happen. and thanks for all the shitty memories.

i guess..all i want is a little appreciation and attention but that's too much to ask rite. even on my birthday.

suckers.

2009-12-17T01:04:00.002+08:00

i may hate people but you've gone too far.==lame assholes with no life. just because they do things you do so you like them. and if WE dun do those things you do or share the same interest, you dun give a damn about us? most of the time i dun care what you say but you've gone too far.

YOU SUCK! get a life.==

i may be lucky but i'm also lonely.

2009-12-03T20:45:00.002+08:00

i'm lucky but i'm lonely. you're everything i have. and seeing you smile makes me cry for some reason. i feel sad cause i'm not the one who manage to cheer you up but i'm glad you are.

you're everything to me. and not even your family or my family can tear us apart. and you should know who i'm talking about.

i wish you'll understand. i wish somebody understand. i just need to keep my mind busy. and rehersal is working. i have not been thinking bout you guys and i'm trying my best not to. cause next year..i doubt we'll ever talk to each other alot. i'm not avoiding. it's just destiny. all of us were not meant to be. no matter how hard i try.

but that doesn't mean i'm giving up. i'm not weak. and i do not want to be lonely.

angel & who's your angel?

2009-12-02T23:58:00.003+08:00

okay!

ANGEL

-angel is a giving game. let's say amelia and trever. amelia got trever's name for the game angel. so amelia has to go get a gift for trever without telling him that she's his angel.and amelia[as an angel] got to think for herself what to get for him.

btw, it's the thought that counts. :)

WHO'S YOUR ANGEL

-who's your angel is ALMOST the same thing. example~~amelia and trever. trever got amelia's name for who's your angel. so trever got to be super good to her[example: serve her food, entertain her, accompany her?]. just as long as she can somehow FIGURE out that trever is her angel.at the end of the game, everybody gather round to guess who they think is their angel.

p.s.you dun have to go out of your way to be somebody you're not. be yourself. and that's GOOD enough. (:

PEOPLE!!!please don't tell even though they manage to guess before it ends. keep it a surprise. it's more fun that way. trust me:D

bbq timothy>D

2009-12-02T20:44:00.002+08:00

thanks for bbq-ing timothy! i mean..thanks for the bbq timothy!(: we had fun and stuff but i have to go back early. so sorry cn for not going over. i got phobia towards milky. i'm afraid of dogs that are afraid of me.

wish i could upload pictures but i didn't take any. and gosh! i got to get myself a pair of new sandals.== i think i almost fall 2 times~):

2009-11-29T19:04:00.004+08:00

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said "I am blind. Please Help." There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, " I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

What he had written was "Today is a beautiful day and i cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and second sign were saying the same meaning?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regret. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And what even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it. (:

i fall alseep.

2009-11-26T20:15:00.002+08:00

that planet earth turns~~slowly~~

hmm..everyday we say we'll get up at 4 just to have breakfast. oh well~~

okay! here's the plan.

you'll be here at 6pm.we'll relax and play some games or watch some tv.
then, we'll go out late at night to watch some movie.
after movie, we'll come back. sleep or you wanna stay up till 4.
then we'll go out to the bukit komanwel[@4]. stay there.chat/talk bout life and stuff.and watch the sun rise.
then we watch back at 8 or 9.morning(:

too bad i got nobody to do that with..sad rite?

pay day

2009-11-25T20:12:00.003+08:00

I'd like to make myself believe~~

dear terence and dz,
if you guys still read my blog[which i doubt that you will since ALMOST everybody died], mommy says come over on friday @9a.m for painting session. then after that we can go cc.

with love,
MICHELLE.

a picture is worth a thousand words.

2009-11-16T23:28:00.001+08:00

Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our jokes;

I fell in love.

list of things i want for christmas!

2009-11-16T19:33:00.002+08:00

thing i want for christmas?

i. Lilies
ii. Gerbera
iii. Jigoku Shoujo season I & II
iv. MORE ROYAL GOLD TISSUE PAPER!

wants to make a difference.

2009-11-12T14:17:00.002+08:00

i really want to but i can't. is it my fault? have you ever seen me try to change? it doesn't make a really big difference.

i've been emo. i've been insane.i've been flirty and i've also been in a relationship. i tried almost everything. nothing really seem to fit me. i can't say whats right for cause i myself can't see the REAL me but you can. YOU have to tell me what's wrong. YOU have to change me. i know i'm the only one who can help myself in these situations but you have got to be there for me.

please don't be like my parents who thinks i can live on my own. its like pushing me down and watch me get up ALL BY MYSELF. but you guys are different. so sweet and wonderful.

thanks for telling me i've been a pain the ass aka bitch. i'll try to change k? just tell me how.

my doggy!

2009-10-28T20:38:00.001+08:00

pug~
bulldog~

german shepherd~

take it back.

2009-10-25T11:12:00.001+08:00

oh how i wish you guys were here today..laughing and playing at the pool. making fun of each other. having lunch together...

happy birthday su wen. (:

bastards.

2009-10-24T23:54:00.003+08:00

and i thought i was the one who mean. you people are worst. and after today, i think i stop having friends.

friends are people who lie to you which they call it a joke. people who promise to be there but they couldn't and people who make plans without telling you.

you said i was being really last minute but do you realize that you do things last minute too?you said you couldn't come and then you ask me out. we plan this a week before but you still couldn't make it.

why am i saying all this shit things when you dun fucking care. but i guess its not your fault. its mine.its all mine. you guys are never wrong. i am never right.

i am so fucking lucky to have FRIENDS just like you bastards. (:

2009-10-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

sushi.

2009-10-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

welcome sushi. (:

guess what..you're wrong.

2009-10-11T21:37:00.001+08:00

i guess there's no word to describe me. so far all i can think of is bitch. one thing i hate most are those bitches who goes round and talk about all these shit things but i guess i'm one of those kind of people. i thought what i did was right and they COULD actually talk about it but i guess i was wrong. I just wanted things to be okay.

well me, my stupid brain and mouth. GOD what have i done? and can't you just shut the fuck up about it?== i just want you guys to understand each other's feelings. no harm in talking rite? guess i should have just shut up about things. who the hell am i kidding. i should have never talk to anybody in the first place.

honey honey

2009-10-07T18:51:00.002+08:00

they may look fugly to you but the look gorgeous to me :D

wishlist!

2009-10-05T20:16:00.003+08:00

here's my list of things that i really want~ :D[that you people can actually afford]

i. Honey x Honey Drops manga vol 1-8 [蜜×蜜ドロップス]
ii. Jigsaw puzzles with or without frame.
iii. SUSHI![if you know what i mean(:]
iv. Flowers.
v. Books.[get the list from me:D]

i don't expect anything from anyone. besides my parents lar. but that's totally different.

if elephants can do it, so can i.

2009-09-30T16:38:00.002+08:00

I guess I'm just not one of them. I thought I was. If elephants can dance, so can I*waltzes with the elephants*. hmm..maybe next year I've gotta choose wisely. I would wanna join the volley ball team but most of them are malays. And I think they are a bit racist. Pigs can fly.*throws a pig out the window and watches it fly away* as the the clubs..i'm still not that sure.

I'm trying my best not to get mad at this cause it's not their fault. I just can't handle people being better than me but I'm trying my best to control my anger. I no longer cry when I'm upset at this silly things. Instead, I try to be strong. I know that I'm not perfect. And I'm glad.

Another day, another drama.

i know that already.

2009-09-28T23:47:00.002+08:00

daddy, you don't have to tell me when my major exam is. why don't you tell me when my birthday is. i doubt that you can even remember.

it's just another ordinary day. i want it to be simple cause that's how it's gonna be...you know what..forget it. i'm okay with anything.

i'm trying not to care. it's just a day. (:

am sick

2009-09-25T20:08:00.003+08:00

I feel like vomiting. I think there might be something wrong with me. I hope it won't make me sick for the week cause I still have to study and stuff.

I hope my mom let skip school on monday if I don't feel any better.

*vomits*

i hear you.

2009-09-23T02:31:00.002+08:00

it's not your fault. it's mine. i put too much hope to one event and when things don't go the way i want it to, i get so upset. i'm sorry if i make you feel bad. i just hate this. my stupid brain don't understand the word no.

i'm not gonna sleep. i don't want to wake up feeling so happy thinking today is the day.

today is not the day. THE DAY will never come. why do i even bother thinking that it will come. It never does.everytime when i know it will come, some shit thing will happen and ruin it all.

you ask me one simple question and i couldn't even answer. OH HOW STUPID CAN I BE.

jigoku shoujo

2009-09-22T12:16:00.002+08:00

You're coming with me...We're going to hell...

disappointment.

2009-09-21T21:21:00.002+08:00

i hate disappointment. i seriously hate it. one of the reason people jump off the building. one of the reason people drown themselves. one of the reason people commit suicide.

i need to break something. i need to destroy something. i need to cry.

fuck you.

my body.

2009-09-21T19:44:00.003+08:00

i woke up feeling really tired..my whole body feels as though it has been doing a lot of work. i hate this feeling.

i haven't been taking ponstan even though i have a massive headache. i'm trying my best not to take so much drugs.but i'm so tired of living. i want my eternal slumber. I don't even want to wake up feeling very uncomfortable.

somebody please stab me to take this pain away.

a few minutes later, i went to bath. i remember that when i was a kid, whenever i'm really depressed or upset i would lock myself in there and bath while crying. the cold water feels really nice...wasting loads of water for nothing. making myself feel so cold and getting sick all the time.

if i could, i will drown myself.

i'm cacat-nye.

2009-09-20T23:52:00.002+08:00

yes i am NOT YOUR FATHER. but i am cacat-nye. i'm so bored i go around people's c-box and *poke poke*.

i love buying people gifts for their bday.== i must be mad. but i love wrapping gifts. I LOVE USING RIBBONS. I love buying wrapping paper.

i dislike going to place filled with strangers touching me. i went to putrajaya? to the PM's open house. bored to death. and i'm suppose to be studying.:P

gosh..i'm tired..and i feel like eating prawn.

Enma's problem.

2009-09-19T23:43:00.001+08:00

My dearly beloved Enma Ai has one problem. Did you notice her eyes are red? XD well, now, she doesn't have that problem anymore! LOOK!

BEFORE

AFTER

1 hour.

2009-09-19T01:13:00.002+08:00

~~after 1 hour of sleep, i feel totally recharged. don't feel like sleeping anymore. don't feel like blogging also.~~

stupidity~

2009-09-18T11:00:00.002+08:00

great..i got so worried and upset for nothing..you were messing around again..what was i thinking. i feel so fucking stupid rite now.

tell you something..you really went overboard this time.

i'm sorry.

2009-09-18T02:23:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry....I truly am..I thought I had the courage but I didn't. I'm worried. Very very worried. But I can't stand seeing you so upset and I'm the one causing it.

Does this mean anything to you? A very very ugly and bitchy girl like me. Why me? I'm not even pretty. I love you so much that I'm willing to say yes.

Lust and Love are two VERY different things.

Do you actually love me or is it just lust?

One thing is for sure..I love you. (:

meaningless

2009-09-16T20:53:00.002+08:00

hey..if people told you that I gossip bout you,will you come and ask me if it's true or will you just assume that it is? Do you trust me enough to believe that I didn't do it?

If you ask me, I will tell you nothing but the truth. If you ask me what's wrong with me and you really do want to know, I will tell you every single detail. i don't think i'm the kind of person that will beat around the bush.

Dearly beloved,
I care about you so much that whenever I'm mad or feel jealous, I do nothing but cry. That's how I release tension and stress. My whole world is falling apart but you don't seem to be there for me. Whenever your world falls apart, I try my best to be there for you but you don't seem to need me. You have your other friends. I only have other friends but I only have ONE best friend. I know I can be a pain in the ass, bitchy and short-tempered at all times but you have to bare with me cause nobody's perfect. Thank you so much for trying to change me so that I could be a better person. I may say mean things bout your friends but I don't mean it. I'm just jealous that they get to spend so much time with you and I don't. I know..it hurts other people's feelings and I'm really sorry. I got tons of things going through my mind.

I'm so worried that she might get a better result than me which she already did. She's also really really really talented. She just need to be reminded once in a while. She tend to be a little bit low on self-esteem. She needs to be more confident with herself. Moreover, she's totally beautiful. Those slut-ish photos of myself..the reason why I take them is to boast up my self-esteem. I force myself to believe that I'm beautiful but whenever I compare..I tend to be more miserable than ever..trust me when I say this. You really do look beautiful and I'm not lying. Lying doesn't benefit me nor you.

Btw, thanks for saying that I'm sort of pretty. I take it as a compliment. It helps to make me feel better. Those words..coming from a sweet/gentle person like you, means a lot to a very emotional child like me. I get compliments from my dearest friends but sometimes I don't feel as though it's true. Not that I'm saying I don't believe you but..sometimes I need a stranger to come up to me and say such things...

thanks su wen.

2009-09-14T21:04:00.002+08:00

omg su wen! YOU'RE THE BEST~~ thanks for willing to lend it to me. MY FAMILY LOVE IT. :D

connie wont stop saying i look good. :P since you are soooooooooooooo wonderful to me, i'm gonna give YOU a MEGA BIG surprise!! i'm sure you'll SCREAM!

mood swing.

2009-09-08T21:53:00.002+08:00

how can she laugh at one moment and cry at the next.she know she's not picture perfect but she tries to be.

if you don't want me to disturb you, i completely understand.you seem to be the only person i could talk to but i feel as though i'm disturbing you which i am.i don't think you're mean.i just find you straight forward.which is suppose to be a good thing.so why am i crying?oh...now i remember.to release tension.

GREAT parents.WONDERFUL grandmother.LOVELY sibling.

told ya it's not a coincidence.people are out to get me when i'm already hurt so badly..including you.

so ignore me and hate me all you want...it's not like you care in the first place.but thanks for acting like you do.

P.S. I love you.

dz and his random-ness.OH MY GODDESS~

2009-09-08T21:25:00.003+08:00

LOL! dz can be really random sometimes~ go on and read the convo. :)

emochild[lolita] says:
i need help~
emochild[lolita] says:
T__T
ꫳ - [c=#41005F][b]Altianyte ?? Dz[/b][/c] - ꫳ says:
what help?
emochild[lolita] says:
i'm not sure what to get for terence for christmas
emochild[lolita] says:
thats all
ꫳ - [c=#41005F][b]Altianyte ?? Dz[/b][/c] - ꫳ says:
owh
ꫳ - [c=#41005F][b]Altianyte ?? Dz[/b][/c] - ꫳ says:
he likes porn
ꫳ - [c=#41005F][b]Altianyte ?? Dz[/b][/c] - ꫳ says:
go make a porn vid xD

LOL. wtf rite?

i'm not confused.

2009-09-06T23:48:00.002+08:00

i know i'm not.i know what i want in life.i know how to live my life and i don't need people like you to tell me what to do unless i ask you.

this year...it's weird.the wrong day.the wrong time.but everything happens for a reason.there has got to be a GOOD reason why it is on that day.am i not suppose to have it this year?

am i suppose to not get what i want?

you've already given me the best gift.i don't think i could ask for more.*giggles*actually i wanted more.

everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.everything happens for a reason.

ignore that...i'm getting more and more depressed.and yes, i know.i'm not suppose to be depressed cause i'm a christian.cause there's a God who loves me and cares for me and bless me..i realize that but lately...haiz.

i know i'm not worried about the major examination.i'm just..well..i don't exactly know what's wrong with me.i feel the need to cry to release tension.i just need somebody to be there..just listening to me complain and whine for a while.

i think what i'm trying to say is that i need you...it's okay if you don't feel that way, just don't blew me off...

Majesty[Here I am]

2009-09-05T20:39:00.002+08:00

Here I am
Humbled by Your majesty
Covered by Your grace so free
Here I am
Knowing I’m a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I’ve found
The greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down Your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hands
Majesty, majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of Your majesty

Here I stand
Humbled by the love that You give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand
Knowing that I’m Your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

And now I’ve found
The greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down Your life
The greatest sacrifice.

thanks.

2009-09-02T21:44:00.003+08:00

michelle is really grateful to marianne for she has been helping her alot.not only did she found what michelle was looking for, she also gave her opinion and such.

everything that i want i could not get.my budget is about rm450.my only option right now is bodyline or i try to find something from i-socks.

i-socks buys stuff from hk/china which are QUITE nice. not to say all bad and also bodyline.i think they should have what i'm looking for.

i bought one from i-socks which is around rm250.it's not bad.but kinda plain.it's the only thing i could afford at that time.

i've got to get one more for me self so i could wear and borrow my black one to suwen.hope she likes it.>.

ops..i was suppose to be thanking marianne~~lol.

GREAT...i have to spend my studying month to plan my death day.== how wonderful.

shut up.

2009-08-31T20:23:00.003+08:00

WHEN WILL KNOW THAT I HATE YOU.well..hate is such a strong word.ugh.so damn annoying.get your own life lar.

OH! i forgot. you dun HAVE ONE! you have to do certain things to get them.

you make me so mad.i wish i could JUST IGNORE YOU! but you'll go around telling people how mean and fucked up i am.== i had enough of you.

btw, you suck.

it hurts.

2009-08-29T16:26:00.002+08:00

i'm taking bout my head not my heart.i'm suffering from some kind of headache not a heartache.i wonder if it's my lack of sleep.but i feel as though i had enough sleep.then in the noon i had another 3 more hours.i'm trying my best not to take any painkillers.but i can't help it.everytime it hurts so much, i just take.

yes i know it's bad for my health and i will die but i know some people do want me to die.others don't care if i exist or not.but somebody in this world will be sad if i'm gone.JUST ONE PERSON.i know that because everybody has a somebody.but i'm not sure who my somebody is.and i know who i'm gonna miss the most if i'm ever gone.

for a teenager, that don't sound depressing cause teenagers are suppose to be.

oh gosh...my head..ugh.

i'm thinking of changing my lolita style.well..not really changing.just adding in more(:

i. Wa Lolita
ii. Sweet Lolita.

sweet lolita is basically..erm..pink and white.or baby pink or baby blue.anything that's consider cute, it's sweet lolita.

currently in love with pink.baby pink.it makes me feel happy..somehow.

ugh.looking and typing and thinking hurts the brain.

something wrong.

2009-08-29T02:05:00.002+08:00

there has got to be something wrong with me. Did i over slept at his house this afternoon? Why aren't i tried? I want to sleep.

It's already two in the morning but i can't sleep.every night i talk to you before i go to bed.but i stop doing that cause me mom found out through the bill.and i'm not sure if that is the problem.

i'm currently messing around with facebook, reading other people's blog.i can't stop thinking bout the time you were here..

the more i think about it, the more i realize how lonely i am..but i'm glad i ~~have~~ had you...

your promise.

2009-08-26T16:48:00.002+08:00

you promise her that you will come back.just you.when she saw you left, she couldn't help but wonder if he will keep his promise or not.she knows that he was being forced to promise her to prevent her from getting anymore upset.

he hates her and soon he's gonna ignore her.she knows.she just want this dream to last longer..a little longer.

she will continue to wait..even if it hurts her so much.it's not like anybody else cares for her rite..

curry~

2009-08-25T12:23:00.002+08:00

was cooking curry. :D

here's some pictures to make you hungry!

come over to my house and i might give you some :D

thanks grandmama for helping me!

thursday-sunday.

2009-08-24T12:12:00.002+08:00

THURSDAY
i went to unitar on thursday.was sick.the whole was so much fun.END OF STORY.

FRIDAY
after school, went to parkson to have mcd.mommy then said we have to go seremban at 5.came back around 10.on the way home,won 4 tickets for the movie orphan.END OF STORY

SATURDAY
since i didn't go for piano class on friday, i decided to go on saturday.which is a bad idea cause i didn't memorize any of the italian terms.went to church after piano.oh yes, after church i got some din din at paternal grandparents' place.the whole family was there.it's worst than cny.END OF STORY

SUNDAY
went to church at 11.after church to mid valley with connie, ian and benjamin.came home around 9?ugh.

i don't remember anything else.i wanna go back to sleep.then wake up on tuesday night.

nights..

help prevent h1n1~

2009-08-22T12:10:00.000+08:00

http://www.friendster.com/photos/52613083/2/175210223#pic=8076753132359304721

go check out the mask~

:D

totally wild fantasies

2009-08-14T21:43:00.002+08:00

gosh! its not even my birthday yet and i'm already wild~

i blame the song 'Patron Tequila' by Paradiso Girls ft. Lil Jon & Eve. GO LISTEN TO IT! ADDICTIVE!

currently planning my super wild birthday on cf? i wanna celebrate my bday after CF! i mean...go cf whole day then go somewhere to have SUPER LATE bday cakey just for ME!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

damn you lovely song.now all i can think about is clubbing, going to cf, dressing up and being totally wild!

love you so much darling! >.<

what am i to you?

2009-08-13T22:11:00.003+08:00

daddy..why do i look so much like you?why can't i look more like mommy?

i miss having you and mommy around.i can't remember anything about my childhood.all i can remember is being taken care of by grandmother.where were you guys when i was a kid?

with love from your flesh and blood,
michelle.

P.S.i still love you. :)

me heel[given by my wonderful aunt(:]

2009-08-09T22:04:00.002+08:00

ignore my SUPER HUGE legs~ ><

i didn't change.==

2009-08-07T21:03:00.003+08:00

really sorry.

2009-08-07T15:09:00.002+08:00

didn't know it was so hard for you.and all she ever do is disturb you.she should have let you sleep at night instead of disturbing you.

knowing that you have to get up real early and put on a happy face just to show the world that you're okay when you're not.you try to hide your feeling and she thinks she understand but she really just doesnt.she try to help but all she ever did was make it worst.

she thinks she's doing the right thing but she's not.she thought she could make him smile just for a while.

seeing you this sad makes her feel so wrong.its like whenever she's happy, she somehow feel guilty that she feels this way.she's not suppose to be happy.her life was suppose to be miserable.

she still think its worth waiting.she will do anything to see that wonderful smile again.

i'm sorry i make things worst for you.

(:

2009-08-07T15:00:00.002+08:00

know you did your best! how was it? she won't stop bugging me to study.she's currently doing maths while i'm online blogging.after doing maths, she says i can play sa so i cant really blog much.nothing happen cause we didnt go to school.

how was your chinese paper? heard it was pretty tough.><

i gotta go do maths before she tells on me(:

hearts,micah.

chinese.

2009-08-07T00:10:00.002+08:00

just wanna wish those who are taking the chinese paper later today good luck.she knows its a very tough paper.(:

so...good luck!

don't worry bout it.i'm sure you can do better than before.if you can't, learn from your mistakes and remember that you'll always be smarter than her.(:

at least you know one extra language.she is so stupid that she doesn't even know chinese.and she calls herself a chinese.what an insult.

what the hell is wrong with her.

2009-08-06T22:59:00.004+08:00

she looks at him looks at her.her heart breaks.but she doesn't care.its like picking up broken glasses from the ground.it hurts when she got a cut but she just kept on picking up the damn glass.

she says its worth it.(: don't you think so?

i call it madness but she calls it love .

it's finally over.(:

2009-08-05T19:53:00.001+08:00

she can't believe it! he finally had a conversation with her.not really a proper one but still.he responded when she said something to him..all thanks to justin.(:

hearts,micah.

4th august.

2009-08-04T14:15:00.002+08:00

today is the day.i think i'm extra grumpy today.well..there's much i can say.they have some kind of interview for those who actually wanna be a qm.i got in.lol.i heard them saying'eh, take this girl.she got no tuition wan.' i was like LOL! after my interview, i ask hans to fill in saying that he got a lot of free time and can stay back whenever.he got in too!

hmm...grumpygrumpygrumpygrumpygrumpy.

i'm currently doing some exercise on english.its so boring.lol.never knew language can be so boring.sometimes.

hey guys~

to Terence:
you okay? o.o

to CN:
i got in for qm! (:

to Marianne:
sorry bout the breast.^_^

to Ka Lok:
COME LAR!I USE SNIPER,YOU USE KNIFE!

why did you start it when you know it will never work out between us?are you messing with me?

hearts, micah.

sorry.

2009-08-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

she said she doesn't care what people think about her but she does.now thanks to her, people can't do it anymore.and it's all her fault.what a bitch.maybe she should just leave him alone.maybe she should face the fact that it will never work out.the longer she wait, the more chaos will happen.

august.

2009-08-01T13:16:00.002+08:00

august....remember 4th august my dear? its when my nightmare began.i shouldn't call it a nightmare but it really is..how can something so right turn out to be so wrong.

bet you've forgotten what day it is.for those of you who don't know, its the day when i actually got a SO-CALLED-BOYFRIEND.and his name is...well i can't really tell you.*cough TUCK FAI cough*.so..*cough somemore* (: yeah..it was pretty weird.the thing last for about 3 months.and i would like to thank the cupid who sort of set us up. (: such a nice boy.can't tell you his name too(: *cough (insert guy's name here) cough*

anyways, i don't think i like the guy anymore.== if i do, i must be insane.(: come to think of it, i am insane. WTH.

gonna ignore the fact that tuck fai is still alive. and start playing sa!

HAHA! SA RAWKS! who says girls who play games such as cs or sa are rude and rough and whatsoever. MIND YOU! i don't swear*shows innocent face*. and those shit bastards in the boot camp aka noob camp, you guys are fucking chickens! NUB! COME LAR! ONE VS ONE! YOU USE KNIFE, I USE SNIPER.*giggles*

HEY GUYS~

to Terence:
hows my danly? (:

to DZ:
babi! you get new phone! wanna trade? (;

to Suwen:
so sorry if i can't get the maid costume for you! ):

to CN:
hows *cough PUKI cough*?or whatever his name is?

hearts, micah.

unknown.

2009-07-31T19:38:00.001+08:00

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. ~Author Unknown

not wanted.

2009-07-31T18:53:00.002+08:00

it's not micah's fault that she thinks she's stupid.she really is.she is stupid enuf to believe people actually love her.

she can never understand that she's not wanted.she tried telling him so many times but its hard for him.its been hard for her too but she doesnt mind.she wants to make believe that he actually likes her when its clear that he doesn't....yeah yeah.he likes her but not in that sort of way.he think she's better off without him but what he doesn't know is that she's lost without him.

when she cry, the only person who can hear her is God.He's been very good to her.and He promise her that everything is going to be okay.she wants to believe but its kinda hard to do so.lately, he's been giving her signals.he cares for her but she's sensitive.she thinks he likes her.

how naive can she be.i mean its so fucking clear!why won't she just wake up.this is such a wonderful dream but it never lasts.and why won't he give her a chance?she just wants to be loved.she doesn't mind being a toy.she don't care if he's messing with her.

she's messed up.she loves him but he doesn't.and its worth it. (:

hearts,micah.

she's really sorry.

2009-07-29T19:30:00.002+08:00

she's sorry.she didn't know she said such mean things to hurt her feelings.she's just jealous that SHE got more than she does.its really hard for micah to make friends.nobody likes micah.when micah does something stupid, people laugh.when micah does something weird, people stare.when micah glare, people get scared.

micah is really sad that she did such a thing to her.but at same time, micah is happy that she dun have such a mean friend like micah anymore.micah get jealous really easily and love to bitch around.thank God nobody likes having micah around....

micah wish you could just understand her this once.she's really sorry.

hearts,micah.

she's upset.

2009-07-28T14:41:00.002+08:00

she can't believe that SHE would do such a thing.and she always put the blame on her.what a friend.

aunt michelle?

2009-07-26T22:28:00.001+08:00

sally. (:

2009-07-22T22:47:00.001+08:00

chocolate.

2009-07-22T20:48:00.003+08:00

does that[chocolate] make you happy? i just want to see you smile again.just once.

people think that you're happy and you're a very good actor.==but that smile of yours is so fake.you seem so much happier when you're with her than with us.

please smile.....you're making me sad if you don't.

hearts, micah.

saturday to sunday.[part I]

2009-07-19T15:05:00.002+08:00

saturday was so much fun!went out with dz,terence,basil,sabrina,malcolm,sanjiv and kushaal.i went about 10.30 or something like that with terence first cause i have to go get my ticket.and i still have to pay my brother rm50 for the damn tickets.LOL.harry potter and also ice age 3.hmm...oh!we were late for the first movie,harry potter.malcolm went in first with his mom and brother.then we[terence and i] met basil.and we waited and waited and waited.....for dz,sabrina,sanjiv and kushaal.we miss about maybe 20 minutes of the movie.the movie was so long and boring.cause i'm not a harry potter fan.he's just gay.

after the first movie, we went for lunch.and stuff...and i'm really tired..will post more on this later or tmr.

hearts, micah.

liar.

2009-07-16T22:48:00.002+08:00

i had to lie to you.i don't know if you're avoiding me or am i trying to avoid you or something.if i let you know...what will you do?how will you react?

do you actually know?i mean how can you not know.its so clear.but i can't tell you that i actually like you.i can't stand rejection.it hurts.really bad.if i don't get what i want,i cry.alot.

i'm messed up.):

hearts, micah.

pictures of you (:

2009-07-13T15:10:00.005+08:00

i love that song.oh, heres some photo i took on sunday.i can't go into the water cause of my blood donation/japanese flag/red sea/girls' best friend/time of the month/period.all i get to do is sleep.at the beach.lol.

lol.trees.

trees.

sissy at the beach! ^^

my cousin~~

LOOK AT THE CAMERA! (:

o.o

aww...so pretty!

hearts, micah.

uoy evol i ):

2009-07-12T22:25:00.002+08:00

i know you never will like me.i'm too much of a guy.look at your previous girl.she's perfect.she's gentle.she's kind.she's sweet.she's innocent.she's smart.she's talented.well...she everything i am never going to be.she acts like a girl.

just because i talk real loud, i love camping and being a dare devil; i am known as a guy.just because i prefer to hang out with guys.why don't you just go ahead and say i'm fat and ugly and so fucking not your type.that will make me feel so much better.

i forgot.you already said that.is this the part where i'm suppose to avoid you?am i really that annoying?

i will now be somebody i'm not.i will be the girly girl.the sweet and innocent girl.the one who whispers instead of talk.the one who is really shy.the one who only hangs out with girls.please don't ignore me.i don't mind if you mess with me.i'm used to it.

hearts, micah.

why?):

2009-07-10T21:08:00.002+08:00

i already got what i wanted.fishes.but why am i still upset? is something wrong with me? is period messing with my emotions again?but..i feel like something's missing.does it have something to do with the fact that my parents stop caring bout me?i know they love me.i know they really do.and you guys are so nice.when i'm with him, i thought he was being nice to me.but he was just pretending.i can't tell the difference.are you guys pretending to be nice to me?cause if you are, i don't think i mind.i've never felt so wanted in my life..i like being controlled by you.maybe its because being controlled makes me feel wanted.and i don't feel useless.if you're wondering why must it be you...i have no answer to that question.

so..whats wrong with my life?

hearts, micah.

fish[part III](:

2009-07-10T20:23:00.002+08:00

FINALLY! i got the fishes.(: was in school at 2 something to get my other bag.terence asked if wanna call dz to come with us.tried calling him a few times but he didn't pick up his phone.so we walked to his house.it was a very longggggggggg way.== almost died.haha.

he is deaf.i mean dz.seriously.haha.OH!ANYWAYS,we walk to malcolm's house.then we bought some stupid fishes.so freaking expensive.==after shopping for fishes, we[dz,terence and me] went over to malcolm's house.OMG!it rained.malcolm was playing his persona or something like that.dz was being lifeless as usual and terence went to bed.i forgot what i was doing.==

moving on....i asked dz to hold the fishes.thennn...we[dz,fishes and me] got into a car accident.without the car.so..it's just an accident.5 fishes died.and the 5 dead fishes are the one i choose.the other 5 survivor are the ones terence choose.fuck him lar.==

then continue walking after saying our goodbyes.called my mom to come pick me up.send dz home and went to eat durian.saw another place that sells fish.went to buy a gold fish.now i have 6 fishes for my brother.thank you for shopping with me (:

hearts, micah.

period.

2009-07-09T14:02:00.003+08:00

i have been angry the whole day.then now i understand why.monthly visit from my best friend.period.

well, i got back one of my results.science.i've got 47.and kye chin ask me to ask those cheaters whats their marks.we wanted to ask mathu but he was absent today.so we decided to ask darren.mathu help him with the science questions.he got 62.it's so unfair.i didnt study but try my best to freaking answer the question but i got lower than him.seriously considering bout telling teacher.but i can't..

and yes, i am upset about the fish.but i have to act like i don't care.i do care! i have feelings.not just you.i shouldn't blame you.and you did apologize.it's not your fault and it's bad enough that you have to accompany me to get the fish.and its really not your fault.its that f**king friend of yours.

now that you mention it, i pity kye chin have to listen to me complain every single day.i know hate alot of things.but can you please stop mocking me!you bastard.are you jealous or something?!just because i can get along with people and you can't with your little so called BEST FRIEND.you fucker.this is why i hate hanging out with him,you people start talking.

like i said earlier, I HAVE FEELINGS! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?! I'M HUMAN.when you poke me, do i not get mad?

i'm just trying to release all this anger.sorry.ignore all that.

hearts, micah.

fish[part II] ):

2009-07-08T19:09:00.002+08:00

i still haven't buy the fish..i was suppose to go for meeting or something like that after school but i didnt really go.after that, cn and i went to ajimal to have lunch.i really want to be a part of the board of directors.but..i don't know..if i actually tell people that..they'll think i'm..well..==nevermind.ignore that.i still go for the interview.it was okay.but abot weird.bet they think i'm not being serious.

i really want to get the fish.but i don't want to trouble anyone of them.maybe i'll go there by myself tmr.but i need to know the location.so i have to ask malcolm..which is gonna be weird.can't really blame anybody but myself for delaying time today.could have actually gotten the fish.

had fun even though i feeling kinda sad.i dislike some of the people in my class.they cheat.): at first i feel a little bit dumb when i compare my marks with theirs but when i found out that they cheated, i feel so angry.there's nothing i can do.i can't tell teacher bout this cause i got no prove and they are my friends.

if you're wondering why i was being a little bit quiet when i'm with you guys after school, now you know.

btw, thanks for asking.i'm fine.(: you guys are the best!

hearts, micah.

fish.):

2009-07-07T18:24:00.003+08:00

i want to buy fish..):

*whispers-click on the picture for a better view (:*

FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!

anyways, i really need to get fishes for my beloved brother.i didn't get him anything for his birthday.know where to get small fishes?and thanks malcolm.i might walk over to somewhere near your place to get it tmr.i wonder how much does it cost..

are you sad or just tired?i know you're always tired but you seem a little sad.or am i just being sensitive again?==

cn & cl, i'm so sorry if i can't go to your 'gathering' on sunday.

hearts, micah.

master. ):

2009-07-06T16:16:00.001+08:00

she said i shouldn't have you as my master.if i can't have you as my master, who am i suppose to ask? i really want somebody who sort of understands me.well...there is this one other guy.but too bad he ignores me now. ): i get upset so easily these days.i wonder how long am i gonna be upset bout this.anyways, i'm looking for a master.i don't give a shit who you are anymore.just take me and mess around with my life and my emotions.you can ask me to do shit things and i might even do it.and thanks for the info kushaal.

oh, happy birthday cn and cl.love you guys so much..

hearts, micah.

tagged by cn.

2009-07-06T15:08:00.000+08:00

1 . What have you been doing recently?
-annoying people.
2 . Do you ever turn your handphone off?
-no.it got turned off by itself[ran out of battery]
3 . What happened at 10am today?
-recess.
4 . When did you last cry?
-last night.
5 . Believe in Fate/Destiny?
-a little of both.
6 . What do you want in life now?
-my lolita/maid outfits and my master.
7 . Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
-hoodie?
8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed ?
-sleep?
9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
-blue shorts?
10 . What are the nicest things in your inbox?
-msg by ian.
11 . Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
-sometimes.
12 . Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
-don't think so.
13 . What was the last movie you caught?
-transformer 2!
14 . What are you proud of ?
-besides my lovely hair? lol.
15 . What does the oldest text msg in your inbox says and who is it from?
-that depends...which phone are you talking about?i got 2!haha.
16 . What was the last song you sang out loud?
-Takin back my love by Enrique Iglesias ft. Ciara.
17 . Do you have any nicknames?
-beside mich and bitch? hmm...OH! kushaal==
18 . What does the newest text msg says and who is it from?
-got 2 phone.==
19 . What time did you go to sleep last night?
-1am
20 . Are you currently happy?
-more or less
21 . Who gives you the best advice?
-i got a few people..hmm..cn,cl and terence.
22 . Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
-nope.
23 . Who do you talked to on phone last night?
-who do you?wrong english rite? anyways, it is.._ _ _ _ _ _ _
24 . Is something bugging you right now?
-yeah.
25 . Who is the last person to make you laugh?
-hmm..connie.
26.Do you like yourself?
-more or less.
27.You want $5 or $10?
-both lar.
28.Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
-no..i think this question is stupid.
29.Who is your best best best friend?
-cant list out.==
30.What will you do if you like that boy?
-flirt.
31.Who are your favourite stars?
-no clue.
32.You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
-which mom?==
33.Do you had even stead before?
-HUH?!
34. What type of boy do you like?
-hmm...i don't know..
35. Now are you single or attached?
-attached to my nds.

wen tuc riah[new hair cut]

2009-07-05T23:15:00.000+08:00

i only got one pic.== i'm so tired today!!!i'll try and take more pictures of me hair.it looks so nice!

3 freaking inches!GONE!!! ): will try to talk more bout it tmr.if i can ever online.dad is always home now since he retired.==i should start working!

hearts, micah.

never know.

2009-07-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

People will never know i have this new blog.i know how much people dislike reading mine so i somehow 'shut down' that thing.now i can feel free to write whatever i want and not expect anybody to read this.well, today i'm upset as usual.

OH! my very first post using this blog.should be proud. (:

hearts, micah.